speak softly

i wrote this not too long ago somewhere else. i now think it's mostly overdramatic rubbish now, but the last verse does say what i feel about befriending (trusting) someone new: the vulnerability of it all.

hold on.
you're different.
*prod*
did that hurt?
am i sorry? or is that something i should say?
do you hurt?
do you cry?

do you feel?

we are all so lonely and scared.

let's talk.

(or are we too scared to say the words worth saying?)

there are some new (not new new, but 'seen in a different light' new) people in my life right now. part of me is so ever thankful for their presence, questioning why didn't i know them sooner. a bigger part of me is jaded, too pessimistic, and mostly shit scared...so i stop myself from opening up too much, ignore the opportunities i get to bridge that final gap that changes a relationship from being mere acquaintances to friend. 

still, as amazing as that soul-sizzling feeling is, you just don't let your defences down yet, because letting people in, is allowing them to mess you up. 

sometimes though, there are these lapses, where you do allow the torrent of thoughts talk its way out of your frontal lobe and onto the conversation table. then comes that vulnerable moment, where you have laid your soul bare, it's too late to retract that silly idea that means so much to you and then suddenly, quite unexpectedly, the other person quips back, 'me too!' and you understand the beauty of connecting to another being.